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When you depart this mortal coil...

Take part in our whisky polls and votes. You can also post your own polls in this forum.

Your remains - Whats to be done with them?

Amalgamate slowly in a Peat bog
1
3%
Cremation
14
45%
Burial
1
3%
Compost heap
4
13%
Other
11
35%
 
Total votes : 31

When you depart this mortal coil...

Postby Scotched » Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:46 pm

Sorry, but for some reason this seemed an important question after a long session with a bottle of Laphroaig.

Please disregard if you find it unpalatable.
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Postby Paul A Jellis » Fri Oct 13, 2006 12:40 am

When I die (not soon I hope) I don't really care what happens, just as long as they have a damn good wake. If there's whisky left in the cupboard - then drink it all!

Perhaps this is best sumed up in 'The Last Will and Tesament of Jake Thakray'

I, the under-mentioned, by this document
Do declare my true intentions, my last will, my testament.
When I turn up my toes, when I rattle my clack, when I agonise,
I want no great wet weepings, no tearing of hair, no wringing of hands,
No sighs, no lack-a-days, no woe-is-me's and none of your sad adieus.
Go, go, go and get the priest and then go get the booze, boys.

Death, where is thy victory? Grave, where is thy sting?
When I snuff it bury me quickly, then let carousels begin -
But not a do with a few ham sandwiches, a sausage roll or two and "A small port wine, please".
Roll the carpet right back, get cracking with your old Gay Gordons
And your knees up, shake it up, live it up, sup it up, hell of a kind of a time.
And if the coppers come around, well, tell them the party's mine, boys.

Let best beef be eaten, fill every empty glass,
Let no breast be beaten, let no tooth be gnashed.
Don't bother with a fancy tombstone or a big-deal angel or a little copper flower pot:
Grow a dog-rose in my eyes or a pussy-willow
But no forget-me-nots, no epitaphs, no keepsakes; you can let my memory slip.
You can say a prayer or two for me soul then, but - make it quick, boys.

Lady, if your bosom is heaving don't waste your bosom on me.
Let it heave for a man who's breathing, a man who can feel, a man who can see.
And to my cronies: you can read my books, you can drive around in my motor car.
And you can fish your trout with my fly and tackle, you can play on my guitar,
And sing my songs, wear my shirts. You can even settle my debts.
You can kiss my little missus if she's willing then, but - no regrets, boys.

Your rosebuds are numbered;
Gather them now for rosebuds' sake.
And if your hands aren't too encumbered
Gather a bud or two for Jake.

Cheers, Paul
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Postby Badmonkey » Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:30 am

Y'all can cremate me if you like, but only if you promise to light me up with Talisker.
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Postby Frodo » Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:01 am

I'd like to be cremated, and have my friends finish off my whisky collection!
Last edited by Frodo on Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:13 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby jimidrammer » Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:11 am

Frodo wrote:I'd like to be cremated, and have my friends finish offf my whisky collection!


Ditto :wink:
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Postby Di Blasi » Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:32 am

Yea, cremate me too, and spread me over the water in Honolulu, where I have my first visual memories, and where nosing the Ardbeg Ten the first time brought me back to, 30 years later!
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Postby Lawrence » Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:35 am

I voted "other". Explosives, lots of them.
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Postby Wendy » Fri Oct 13, 2006 4:51 am

mmm...I also voted "other"...firing out of a canyon, but that could also be Elmer T. Lee talking tonight!

8)
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Postby Wave » Fri Oct 13, 2006 4:53 am

With as much scotch that I've consumed in my lifetime I should be blended!! :lol: :lol:



Cheers!
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"OTHER"

Postby Wendy » Fri Oct 13, 2006 4:56 am

I guess Wave, you also voted "Other"?
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Re: "OTHER"

Postby Wave » Fri Oct 13, 2006 4:58 am

Wendy wrote:I guess Wave, you also voted "Other"?


:wink: :lol:


Cheers!
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Postby Deactivated Member » Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:55 am

I like the peat bog idea, but amalgamation will be very slow indeed. Peat bogs are very acidic, so there is virtually no decay. Some years back a fellow was found in a Caithness bog who'd been there for 800 years or so--apparently he was in pretty good shape.

All of this flashed through my mind the time I got lost on Unst in Shetland, and went knee-deep in a bog--would have been worse if I hadn't flopped over on my back.

Compost heap sounds good to me. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust....
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Postby Deactivated Member » Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:57 am

I have agreed to leave my body to the University of Edinburgh for anatomical examination - to help teach the doctors of the future.
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Postby Deactivated Member » Fri Oct 13, 2006 10:02 am

I'd like my cremation to be part of the malt drying process and my ashes added to the grist. A special bottling of Old (I certainly hope so) Crieftan :lol:
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Postby irishwhiskeychaser » Fri Oct 13, 2006 6:17 pm

Nick Brown wrote:I have agreed to leave my body to the University of Edinburgh for anatomical examination - to help teach the doctors of the future.



Would that be to show how self preserving with whisky works :wink:



To be quite honest I don't give a fiddlers what's done with me as I'll be gone. Just as long as I've had plenty of drams before I go to the Big Distillery in the sky or should that be down under :lol:
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Postby Choochoo » Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:14 pm

I’d prefer to be preserved for posterity in the peat bog
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Postby les taylor » Fri Oct 13, 2006 10:30 pm

I wish to be buried. But before I go I want to drink some of the good stuff I've bought. Should I start now or save it for later? I'm only 49 after all.
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My choice...

Postby Muskrat Portage » Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:29 pm

Wendy wrote:mmm...I also voted "other"...firing out of a canyon, but that could also be Elmer T. Lee talking tonight! 8)

(aside)Would that be a 105 mm Canyon or a 155 mm Canyon? :D (I was a 2nd generation gunner long ago - couldn't resist)
I voted crematorium as the thought of being slowly inhumed by nature's handmaidens back into the soil doesn't truly appeal.

My whisky collection, like Frodo's, is to be spread out among my friends. Everyone picks one of the sealed bottles and a wake to comment on my past indiscretions is to be held with the open selection. The remainder is for my wife or daughter to disperse however they see fit. Could be a heck of an auction... hopefully this post doesn't hasten my demise.
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Postby aarkwilde » Sun Oct 15, 2006 9:52 pm

Take my body out on a boat, run me through a chipper and have everyone drink a farewell toast.


Feed the fish, and everyone gets to make 'chum' jokes.
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Postby toshie » Mon Oct 16, 2006 11:46 am

Cremation, with ashes scattered on Islay or Orkney, so return in a bottle might be likely :wink:
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Postby TheLaddie » Fri Nov 03, 2006 12:03 am

Actually I intend to live forever. So far so good.....

Failing that I'd like to be doused in Bruichladdich Infinity to speed up my cremation and my ashes sprinkled into the maltings at Port Ellen. I would be 50ppm in Ardbeg, 80ppm in Bruichladdich Octomore and so on...

Ford Prefect "It's rather like being drunk"
Arthur Dent "What's so wrong with being drunk?"
Ford Prefect "Ask a glass of water"

The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
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Postby Aidan » Fri Nov 03, 2006 8:42 am

I'd like to be waked, but my wife mightn't like that.

I'll post a message here when I die inviting you all to my wake. BYOB.
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Postby Drammer » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:28 pm

Hmm, Cremation for me, amalgamation in a bog sounds interesting but i'd hate to spoil the peat, one could make some fine malt with that! Hate to spoil it. 8)
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Postby Deactivated Member » Fri Nov 03, 2006 9:34 pm

Aidan wrote:I'd like to be waked, but my wife mightn't like that.


He said "Wake me in the morning!"
But that night he passed away.
So they waked him in the morning,
And they buried him that day.

--Mr TH
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Postby Marvin » Fri Nov 03, 2006 10:17 pm

Compost heap. Hopefully I can surprise the odd gardener.
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Postby wieslaw » Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:29 am

Cremation -- the poor man's pyre. Go out like Beowulf!
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Postby Cam » Sat Nov 04, 2006 4:34 pm

Cremation, then ashes into the garden.

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Postby Mr Fjeld » Sat Nov 04, 2006 7:45 pm

I'd like to go with a bang. Something spectacular such as being shot into the atmoshpere with a cannon or something. However, I always wear a donor card and hope someone might benefit from my organs. The liver will not do I suppose...
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