Talisker 10.........

[Lawrence]

Am I supposed to be Mr Picky?

Sorry Nick, Tattihead's alter ego is Mr. Picky, he makes infrequent but hysterical visits to the forum.

You are lucky to have friends who appreciate the stuff

Yes, it's a good thing to have friends who can enjoy a dram with you; it's especially gratifying to see their enthusiasm grow for all types of whisky.

[Deactivated Member]

:evil: It was Mr. Picky who started all this, where is he by the way?

Mr Picky is most indignant and wishes it known that he leaves the cheap jokes to Mr Tattie Heid. Mr P would not stoop to silly puns. After all, he is not stoopèd.

[bond]

Okay, I'll start......

Last night, a bloke told me that he thought blends were better than single malts.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!

And you call him a BLOKE??? Haven't you read the International Rules of Blokedom?

I have returned to the forum after a 3-week break. (finally got married!) One of the things that has changed is the topics seem to be digressing completely. I thought I would post this when I went to a Laphroaig comparison thread and saw it discussing australian beers. Then another on duck jokes. Now this.

Have we run out of whisky topics to discuss? Let me try and make a start.

The "new, improved" Talisker though is a bit more expensive than comparable whiskies. At the Bangkok Duty Free, the 10 YO retails for $45 as opposed to Laphroaig 10 YO for $36 and the Ardbeg for $34!

Was it always this way or is this the DIAGEO way? Bring the spice back and peg it up a few notches!

[Deactivated Member]

enlighten us on the international rules of blokedom

[kallaskander]

Hi there,

you missed the part about German Riesling. Anyway congratulations and I will not even think about turning this thread into the direction of discussing marriage. Where would this lead us to?

I have not tried the Talisker 10 lately, a "new and improved" that is to say. You were refering to a lack of spice. My bottle is a year old I think and I can not say that the malt lacks anything in spicyness. I have no way of knowing, when this bottle was filled exactly, of course. Are you talking about the new 18 year old? That is another case altogether, for sure.

I find it very good by all means. It is the ideal malt to savour sitting on your porch or terrace watching the sun set. When the sun is down and it gets a bit chilly switch to Ardbeg or Caol Ila to keep you warm. Wonderful.

Greetings
kallaskander

[MGillespie]

I have returned to the forum after a 3-week break. (finally got married!)

Welcome back and congratulations!

Mark

[Deactivated Member]

Okay, I'll start......

Last night, a bloke told me that he thought blends were better than single malts.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!

And you call him a BLOKE??? Haven't you read the International Rules of Blokedom?

Sounds more like a jamoke to me!

I have returned to the forum after a 3-week break. (finally got married!)

Yow! Talk about digression! Congrats and welcome back!

[bernstein]

nomen est omen, bond...

Belated best wishes!

[bond]

enlighten us on the international rules of blokedom

I know this is digression of the worst kind but here goes. Hope some of you will love it as much as I have. Have removed some of them as they may have been mildly inappropriate in a forum of this nature.

International Rules of Blokedom
>
>01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at the
>footy, and your pies are getting wet, then for the eating period only it
>is permissible.
>
>02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances: a. When
>a heroic dog dies to save its master. b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts
>unbuttoning her blouse. c. After wrecking your boss' car. d. One hour,
>12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". e. When she is using her
>teeth.
>
>03: Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed
>and eaten by his mates.
>
>04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend
>out of jail within 12 hours.
>
>05: If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off
>limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
>
>06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is
>forbidden. However Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
>
>07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
>man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
>
>08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
>weakest.
>
>09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may
>ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
>
>
>11: It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're
>sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless
>supermodel...and it's free.
>
>12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to
>kick another bloke in the nuts.
>
>13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
>
>14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
>
>15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
>
>16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
>until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or
>LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
>
>17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
>remain sober enough to fight.
>
>18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
>pizza, but not both that's just greedy.
>
>19: If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
>about his choice of beer.
>
>
>21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
>weights:
>a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
>b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
>c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
>
>22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
>i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
>almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
>
>
>25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for
>her to drive yours.
>
>26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green,
>orange or sky blue.
>
>27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
>Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox.
>End of story.
>
>28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
>Gymnastics. Ever.

[bamber]

[bernstein]

Now, how could we find out more about No. 20, 23 and 24...?

[MGillespie]

Just a few clarifications...

International Rules of Blokedom
>

>07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
>man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.

Note: Drinks and lap dances are acceptable, however.

>22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
>i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
>almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

Remember, the rules also require at least one urinal's space between blokes, unless there's a line. If the facility in question uses a trough instead of individual urinals, at least 18 inches of separation is mandatory.

>28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's
>Gymnastics. Ever.

Of course, the above only applies to "Men's" Ice Skating or Gymnastics. Women's Skating is tolerable because of the skimpy outfits, pairs skating is only barely acceptable because of the possibility that someone's gonna get dropped on their head, but "women's" gymnastics is unacceptable because they all look like they're 12 years old...and that's just wrong.

Mark

[Lawrence]

pairs skating is only barely acceptable because of the possibility that someone's gonna get dropped on their head,

Excellent, all of them.

[MGillespie]

For a second, I almost considered one men's gymnastics event remotely acceptable to watch...when they're doing that thing on the doohickey with the handles when the guys place their jewels in constant jeopardy every second or so. After a few beers, one could almost justify rooting for them to slip!


One other addition to the list...a true bloke would rather soak his groin in jalapeno juice than attend any of the following...

1: The ballet
2: The opera
3: The symphony (unless the Admiral's playing)
4: A flower show
5: An art museum
6: Anything that may lead to shopping...unless it's for tools, lumber, sports gear, or Scotch! (getting us nicely back on topic!)

Mark

[Mr Fjeld]

Hm..... I actually like nr. 1, 2, 3 & 5. Number 5 is part of my university degree. Does that exclude me from being a bloke?
Maybe we ought to sing "I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok, I work all night and sleep all day........

Skål!
Christian

[MGillespie]

No, Christian...but it means your Scotch choices will be limited to the pink Bruichladdich Flirtation!

(Actually, it just means you're civilized...)

Mark

[Josh]

Bernstein,

Since this is my first post and I don't have any rep to protect , unlike Bond, here are the 3 rules that got censored out:

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours,
except if she's withholding s*x pending your response.

23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"have carnal drunken monkey s*x, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

Josh

[kallaskander]

Hi there,

time gentlemen, please! After all it is a whisky forum and what would the women say if they knew what you´re doing in your pass time?

Greetings
kallaskander

[MGillespie]

Somehow, I have a feeling it wouldn't come as a surprise to them...


Mark

[Josh]

You're probably right.

My intent was to satisfy Bernie's curiosity and get the missing 3 out of the way. I too have been similarly intrigued by the one's edited out.

But , fair call for time on the topic. ...that's not what I became a member for.

Cheers,
Josh

[Admiral]

If I may keep the diversion going for just one small moment:

when they're doing that thing on the doohickey with the handles when the guys place their jewels in constant jeopardy every second or so. After a few beers, one could almost justify rooting for them to slip!

This made me laugh.....completely unintentional on the author's part, but in Australia, "rooting" means having sex.

A brief lesson on international slang!

Cheers,
Admiral

[Lord_Pfaffin]

In Canada we have a plumbing franchise called Mr. Roto-Rooter.
Just thinking if the same franchise were in Austrailia, wouldn't they be taking more calls from people looking for sex toys than plumbing repairs?
Is there any truth to the rumour that Austailian men take Viagra before they go to sleep so they won't roll out of bed?

[Admiral]

Eat enough Vegemite, mate, and you'll never need Viagra!!

[Deactivated Member]

I believe you also have a different name for sellotape in Australia - don't ask for it in a newsagents in the UK.

[MGillespie]

If I may keep the diversion going for just one small moment:

when they're doing that thing on the doohickey with the handles when the guys place their jewels in constant jeopardy every second or so. After a few beers, one could almost justify rooting for them to slip!

This made me laugh.....completely unintentional on the author's part, but in Australia, "rooting" means having sex.

A brief lesson on international slang!

Cheers,
Admiral

Thanks...of course, if one of them did slip...he'd never "root" again!

Mark

[Deactivated Member]

I believe you also have a different name for sellotape in Australia - don't ask for it in a newsagents in the UK.

Do you mean "cellotape", as in cellophane tape? Stateside, that is universally referred to as (yes) Scotch tape, regardless of actual brand. Along with Scotch whisky and Scotch eggs, one of the few legitimate uses of the word "Scotch", rather than the preferred "Scots" or "Scottish".

Edit: I hope everyone will forgive me for mentioning whisky here. I know it's a taboo topic on this forum.

[Deactivated Member]

The same stuff, although we use an "s" in the UK for Sellotape. The Australians, I believe, use a word that starts with d and ends in x

[Lawrence]

This thread is going to come to a sticky end........

[Deactivated Member]

Perhaps we would do better to adhere to the topic at hand.

[Admiral]

Not sure, Nick......we just call it "sticky tape".

I've been glued to this discussion.

[MGillespie]

I think we've become stuck on this topic...

Mark

[Lawrence]

I can only imagine the jokes if we'd been talking about double sided tape, it's quite transparent.

[MGillespie]

Lawrence, I see right through your attempt to change the topic!

Mark

[Deactivated Member]

They're all double sided. Most of 'em only stick on one side, though. (How do they do that, anyway?)

[bernstein]

If you hadn't glued 'im to the shelf 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!

Seems we've made (almost) no headway since...