Whisky Magazine Issue 1
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To prove that Whisky magazine has its ear well and truly to the ground, we would like to introduce our fly-on-the-wall, worm's-eye-view of the Scotch whisky industry. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental as, indeed, is any resemblance to the Scotch whisky industry.
Let me introduce myself. I'm Andrew McVie. Or McCV, as the manager of our visitor centre, Ruth, so wittily put it this morning. ‘Don't remind me,' I said.
She said, ‘I will remind you. You have a pack of English, our new owners, landing at the airport in half an hour, and have you reapplied for your job yet? You have not. Have you even done your cv? You have not.'
‘They don't mean it,' I said. I must have sounded rather weary. I try not to sound tired: there is nothing like tiredness for awakening the psychopath that lies otherwise dormant in Ruth's bosom. ‘How can I reapply for my own job? I've been here 25 years. They want my vision for the future. I don't have a vision for the future. I don't even have a vision for lunch.'
‘I do,' she said. I should add that Ruth cooks for our guests on these occasions. ‘Did you enquire about their allergies, like I told you?'
‘Ruth, I won't have you poisoning them.'
‘Besides, you do have a vision for the future,' she said. ‘You want to emphasize traditional Scottish values, but with a global perspective.'
‘And what the hell does that mean?'
‘It means we need an old cellar, recently discovered in the course of renovation works. Imagine our surprise when, behind an old bolted door, we came across several old casks which appeared to be full of top-quality malt whisky. Further investigation revealed that this was indeed Glenweevil, but Glenweevil with a difference: this was Glenweevil distilled before the new stil...