Published in Whisky Magazine Issue 4 on 13/6/1999.

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Glenweevil an everyday story of distilling folk 4

The story so far: Kevin has been arrested for the theft of a lorryload of Glenweevil. The stolen whisky was passed off by Ruth as a newly-discovered stash of pre-war Glenweevil. After suitable doctoring withother brands it was sold as Glenweevil Limited Release. Kevin's arrest by Sergeant Maclean, however, threatens Andrew with disgrace. Now read on.

Andrew here. Ruth came to work today in a black leather ensemble I don’t remember having seen before. I said, ‘Look, Ruth, about Kevin –’

‘Sergeant MacLean is incorruptible,’ she said. ‘He’s also allergic to prawns.’

‘Rather a non-sequitur, if I may say so.’

‘It’s nothing of the sort. Honestly, Andrew. He stayed for supper last night.’

‘Was that after he was incorruptible, or before?’

‘After, obviously. Why else would I give him prawns? Serves him right.’
I sighed. ‘I’ve been wondering about South America. You don’t happen to know which South American countries don’t have extradition treaties with Britain?’

‘Och, no,’ she said. ‘I couldn’t leave Kevin.’

‘Kevin may be leaving you,’ I said, ‘and for several years. Ruth, I don’t think you realise how serious this is. It’s robbery, it’s receiving stolen property, it’s aiding and abetting, it’s passing off, it’s – well, I don’t know what it is. It’s the end of me, I know that. Company Personality of the Year, too.’

‘It’s sorted,’ she said.
‘Oh, Ruth, really. How can it be sorted? Kevin’s under lock and key, and I’m sorry, I know he’s your son, but he’s quite capable of telling the truth. I wish I’d never heard the words Glenweevil Limited Release. I jump whenever I hear a car draw up. The police could be here any time to arrest the two of us.’

‘Och, stop fretting. Kevin won’t tell the truth. He’d get his mates arres.....

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Section : The Last Word

Page number : 74