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Issue 43 - Nevermindthebarley?

Whisky Magazine Issue 43
October 2004

 

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Nevermindthebarley?

MichaelJacksongoesBabbity

Itishardtobelievethatanyonewouldfeelsorryforpoliticians,butIdo.Spendingasmuchtimeontheroadasanypartyhack,Iknowhoweasyitistobecomedisoriented:tosayhowhappyyouaretobeinInveruriewhenyouareactuallyinInveraray.

Halfthetime,thereporterstravellingwithyoutocoveryourtourarenotsurewheretheyare,either.Anunusuallyconscientiousjournalisttookthebasicstepofcheckingmycuttingsinhisnewspaper'slibrary.Henotedthateveryinterviewerhadaskedtheobviousquestion:"Whatisyourfavouritebeer/whisky?"

Myreplyalwaysstressestherightbeer/whiskyforthemoment,andIinsistonnominatingatleast10oradozen.CertainclassicbeersappearineverylistbutIamalsoinfluencedbywhateverisonmymind–andIalwaystrytofindaseriouslygoodbeerthatisreasonablylocal.
Whisky,beingfarlesswidelyproduced,presentsdifficulties–forthemoment.

Myheartsinkswhenaninterviewerremindsme:"Mr.Jackson,in1976,youwrote(blah,blah,blah).”Ohmigod,whatonearthdidIsay?WasIsober?Tiredandemotional?WasIsufferingfrom‘WhiskyLiveinGlasgow'syndrome,whichcanbecausedbysigning75books,withsalutationsinArmenian,BantuorCroat?

Afurthercauseofthisconditionistherequirementtoperformthefollowingritualeighttimes:walkroundGeorgeSquare,thenclimbfiveflightsofstairs.Symptoms:inabilitytostayawakeonhearingasinglemaltwhiskydescribedasa‘brand'.Oncebrandinghasoccurred,thesufferermayrelapseintoslumberhoweverentertainingthespeaker.

Amoreseriousoutcomemaybetheinabilitytosay"BabbityBowsters".Thelattermaypersist.Forsomeyears,BabbityBowsterswasaveryusefulmulti-purposeanswertoquestionsfromrea...

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