You've nicked my beard!
Dave Broom has a hairy experience in Moscow
Tatiana looked concerned. That in itself was not surprising. She had a spirits competition to organise, foreign guests to herd, dinners to arrange, tastings to mastermind. But that wasnât what was on her mind.
âDid you hear about the letter?â she said.
âAny particular letter?â I replied.
âAbout you,â she said. âAbout your beard. About being sued for stealing it.â Now, I have long held to the belief that life is weird and the best way to cope with this fact is simply to go with the flow.
How, precisely had I stolen a beard, whatâs more, a beard which (I quickly checked), was growing on my chin?
Tatiana explained. Her magazine had published photos of the judging panel for this yearâs Vinnaja Karta Open, me included. No sooner had this appeared than she received a letter from a Russian man claiming to have taken out a copyright on my facial hair.
Her magazine â and by extension me â had failed to ask him for permission to do this and he was demanding compensation. In fact, since he was a strict teetotaler he was claiming damages as âhisâ beard was being used to promote alcohol. On a scale of weirdness thatâs up pretty high.
But how can you copyright a beard? I asked.
âAhhh,â said Tatiana. âRussia!â This I have discovered is a common phrase in Moscow which is employed whenever something exasperating, amusing, bizarre and... dare I say... weird happens. It is said in a resigned fashion but with enough of a smile to show that the spea.....
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By Dave Broom
Section : A dram with Dave Broom
Page number : 12
