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Issue 76 - A decade of words

Whisky Magazine Issue 76
November 2008

 

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A decade of words

To mark our 10th anniversary we decided to dig into our archives and bring some of the wittiest, incisive and often poignant words from our two columnists, starting the late, great Michael Jackson.

Picking up a yellow cab in Detroit seemed a good idea. As my photographer colleague Ian loaded his equipment into the trunk, the cabbie recalled the time a passenger left an expensive camera on the back seat. He had just dropped the passenger at a pedestrianised mall. Grabbing the camera, the driver jumped out of the cab, spotted his passenger in the distance, and gave chase.

The passenger didn't recognise him.

“He saw this black man chasing him, and ran like hell until he'd lost me. He thought I was going to mug him.” The cabbie's roar of laughter came from somewhere deep in his survival mechanism.

As I left his cab, I tried to tip him with a spare bottle from my suitcase.

A particularly fine bourbon. He turned out to be a Baptist, dammit.

From “Our Good Friend to the North”Issue 31

Marketing men's stock-in-trade is the self-fulfilling prophesy.

They constantly tell us that, in all areas of food and drink, we want even paler, lighter-bodied, blander products. Many people do, but the industry appeases them at its peril. Make Scotches lighter and blander and the message is clear: ‘malt, peat, sherry, salt and seaweed taste horrible. We are doing our best to remove all whisky tastes from our product. Lack of flavour is good'. This might be more succinctly expressed in two words: ‘Drink vodka.' From “Life beyond Lagavulin” Issue 1 The Sarge observed that most illegal distillers were philosophical when they were prosecuted. Then to help me better understan...

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